Some Propositions Regarding Psychosis (from Meditations Whilst Manic)

You must look through the person to see the soul of the person.

 

You, with a mental illness, are a threat to society; you are predisposed to being a serial killer. This is due to your ability to analyze and even overanalyze. You cannot escape this stigma.

 

This is wrong, because overanalysis leads to suffering, on the part of the person who is analyzing.

 

Because the world is broken, one’s mind must also be broken.

 

Violence towards the self becomes the only release in the midst of psychosis. Suicide is the only thing that makes sense.

 

Suicidal thoughts hurt like a suicide attempt.

 

Psychosis is Dante’s Inferno.

 

Pain is real with mental illness. Even if you can’t touch it.

 

Fear alienates, fear creates.

 

I feel society sees me as a threat and I do not know. I guess because I have psychosis. I guess because I’m psychotic.

 

I feel lost when I am psychotic.

 

I’m not smart because I am crazy.

 

I need to be locked because I am crazy. I am insane.

 

This is how psychosis works: It creates paradoxes for yourself you can’t escape. Pity or aggression, you choose: It’s a catch-22.

 

I feel lost when my mind … hurts.

 

Psychosis is a whirlwind, a turmoil, of emotion and thoughts; it’s like swallowing chaos theory.

 

When you are sick, you are nothing. You feel like you are nothing.

 

I was suicidal today. I guess this means I have to survive. (Alone.)

 

I don’t joke when I say, “I’m suicidal.”

 

I don’t joke when I say, “I’m psychotic.”

I feel hurt. When my mind … hurts.

 

I can’t always be neutral; psychoses and mania is a breaking point. Especially when the world is hostile and breaks your back. (Just think of Batman and Bane …)

 

I don’t know if I can do this.

 

I don’t know how to push forward. Except to just … push forward.

 

Psychosis is a threat to my survival. Darwin should have argued for the natural selection against psychosis and psychotic minds.

 

Psychosis provides tools for cognitive sharpness and possibility. So does mania and mixed states (energetic and dangerously reckless with energy but also full despair at the same time).

 

Psychosis is a tool for self-improvement.

 

Why do we butcher and massacre those who suffer with a mental disorder, with the stigma of, they’re going to hurt or kill others, when they are most likely to be victimized? Especially when violence is by definition the media?

 

Psychosis is the beginning of revolution. Psychosis can be the start of a religion. (Atheists unite.).

 

Overanalysis is the best tool of the mentally ill person.

 

I cope with my mental diagnosis as best as I can. But I, too, must break.

 

People can be so … mean.

 

I strive to be kind and gentle. Psychosis permits this.

 

I talk about cutting off my dick with a credit card and choosing suicide because I’m fucking psychotic did you not get the hint?

 

Pain hurts. Mental illness is pain. Therefore, mental illness hurts.

 

I’ll survive because I have no other choice.

 

Sometimes I feel like I’m finished, and I’m going to Hell, eternal Hell, or I’m going to be in a black suffocating box for the rest of eternity. Either way, I want to die, and yet I don’t like the alternative, so I’m stuck with the paradox of life.

 

I forgive the homeless. I forgive the mentally ill.

 

Pain is real when you’re sick.

It’s not true that I’m violent or stupid or lazy, no matter how many times you tell me this.

 

Mental illness is a gift. I do not regret having it, even though it causes so much suffering.

 

Injustice is mental pain.

 

I thought today that I was castrated again and the blood was still dripping.

 

I thought to day that I murder people without anyone knowing. I was terrified because this seemed true to me.

 

I thought today that it was literally the end of the world. I thought I was going to die today.

 

My back hurts from the strain of mental trauma.

 

I am mentally traumatized.

 

Psychosis, delusion: Slice it, it’s the same: Your mind manufactures horrifying scenarios you believe. And there’s no way out. From crows pecking out the eyeballs of innocents, to dogs suffering, to your body breaking down as the weight of the sun bears down upon you: Yes. When you’re psychotic, your body breaks down. You think you’re going to die just from broken bones and weak skin that will break and bleed at just the touch. You think you’re going to die. And that’s only one horrible delusion among many.

 

The pain never stops.

 

I am not violent.

 

I have a tender disposition and a tender heart: I’m mentally ill. And suicidal. But I’ll make it.

 

I’m going to make it.

 

I’m going to make it …

 

Some propositions regarding psychosis.

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2 thoughts on “Some Propositions Regarding Psychosis (from Meditations Whilst Manic)

  1. im with ya i hear ya i agree with most of that or ive been there recently as far back as february and since i was god five years ago for several hours, of which i can only remember a few minutes, then i was bhudda, giving a talk on impermanence, i saw the future and it came to pass, what an ass, i cant kill myself or live, robbie williams said it best, i dont want to die but im not keen on living either, but then and again i have to accept that i wont do that to the others who say they care, i did this to myself with drug abuse, when all it really was in the beginning was a sense of self that was diminishing, i didnt want to join in, i was shy, but very outgoing when i felt alright, when i could meet and catch someones eye, but i hid from them all until now i wanna die, but live, and strive to thrive and give and heal mysself and others, and find some spiritual truth and struthe i do go on but hey im with ya i hear ya i agree, lets give it a day or two and see, we’ll see, be kind to yourself as you are to others really, imagine being a saint from now on not a sinner, see how it goes when you lovingly challenge any thoughts, send them love, set your intention and your conciousness into you heart, your solar plexus, see a light grow there, a spark on divine love, let it grow out, send it, love Jon +

    Liked by 1 person

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